I hear this very often from clients:

"I'm not sure what's next."

"I feel lost."

"Everyone else seems to have it figured out - why don't I?"

And it seems there's no age limit to this. From those in their 20s who think they're behind (wait...behind in your 20's?!) to those in their 80s who think by this time, they should know more, be clearer, have all the answers.

There's so much pressure to know, to have a plan, and to see the path clearly before you take the first step.

And when you don't have this, it can feel like something's wrong with you.

But what if not knowing isn't a problem at all? What if it's actually a gift?

When I Didn't Know

There have been many times in my life, when I didn't know. I felt stuck and confused in these times, and I so wanted the answer.

The time that sticks out the most to me was when I was working at an investment bank in San Francisco. It was a high-paying job that looked great on paper. But my body was telling me a different story.

I got very sick. My body was essentially yelling at me: This isn't working. You need to leave.

So I knew I had to make a change. But I had no idea what to do next.

I remember calling my brother, crying. I felt so lost. I didn't usually confide in my brother in this way, but I felt so confused and didn't know where to go or turn. And it scared me.

My brother was calm and patient. He said something I've never forgotten:

"I always think when you don't know what to do, learn something new."

That simple wisdom planted a seed. Slowly, I got an inkling - maybe I could go back to school? It felt scary but also... strong. It felt like a quiet knowing underneath all the not-knowing.

I didn't have the whole path mapped out. I didn't know what would come after grad school. I just knew: This feels like the next step.

So I took it. I went back to school in my 30s and got my MA in TESOL.

That one step - taken without knowing the full path - led to teaching, which led to coaching, which led to the life I have now.

None of this was visible when I was crying on the phone to my brother, feeling lost, scared and so uncertain.

Space, Not Void

Here's what I've learned: Not knowing isn't a void. It's a space.

A void feels empty, wrong, scary. A space is open, full of possibility, exactly where you need to be.

In that space of not knowing:

• Inklings emerge
• Your wisdom speaks quietly
• Possibility lives
• The next step becomes clear (even if the whole path doesn't)

When you think you already know, you close yourself off to what wants to emerge. You force yourself down a path that might not actually fit.

But when you're in the space of not knowing? You're open. You're listening. You're available for the inklings.

The Gift

The gift of not knowing is freedom. It's freedom from forcing the wrong path. It's freedom from pretending you have it figured out when you don't. And it's freedom to discover what's actually true for you, not what you think should be true.

Not knowing means you're in the process of becoming. You're in transition. Something is trying to emerge, and it needs the space to do that.

You can't rush it. You can't force it. You can only trust it.

The Practice

I invite you to get curious about your own "not knowing", wherever or whatever that might be for you right now.

Notice: Where are you pressuring yourself to know, to have the full plan, to see the whole path?

Ask yourself: What if this "not knowing" is a space, not a void?

Get curious:

• What inklings are emerging in this space?
• What is this "not knowing" trying to teach me?
• What's one small first step I could take, even without knowing the full path?

You don't need to have it all figured out.

The space of not knowing is full of richness. It's where possibility lives.

Trust it. Trust yourself. Trust the inklings.

And if you'd like support navigating the space of not knowing and taking aligned steps even without the full map, that's exactly the kind of thing we can work on in Aligned Action Laser Coaching. You can learn more here.

Enjoy the exploration.