Last week I wrote about being nimble - adjusting when things shift, holding plans lightly, staying flexible.

But here's what I didn't say: There's something that often gets in the way of being nimble.

Our patterns.

I had a client come to a session recently, frustrated. This wasn't the first time. They were leading an important project at work, but their team kept overriding their decisions. When they tried to speak up, people talked over them. They felt invisible.

"Maybe I need to be more forceful," they said. "I don't think anyone even realizes I'm upset about these things."

This wasn't the first time we'd had this conversation. It was a different situation, but the same pattern.

My client wanted to lead and to influence. But the thought of disrupting the team dynamic, of potentially upsetting someone - that felt impossible.

This is what it looks like to be an Enneagram Type 9.

Type 9s value harmony and peace. They're natural mediators, able to see all sides of a situation. They're steady, calming, and easy to be around.

But here's the pattern: When conflict arises - or even when they just need to assert themselves - they often go quiet. They accommodate. They merge with what everyone else wants.

This isn't because they're weak. And it's not because they don't have opinions.

It's because their brain is wired to preserve harmony at almost any cost.

So you see the challenge for my client, right? You can't lead effectively while always keeping the peace. And you can't be nimble when your reflex is to accommodate and always go along with everyone else.

And here's what's important to understand: This isn't a character flaw. It's a pattern.

And patterns can shift - once you see them clearly.

When my client finally understood this wasn't about being "too nice" or "not assertive enough" - when they saw it as their Type 9 wiring trying to keep them safe - something changed.

They stopped trying to force themselves to be "more mean." They started working WITH their pattern instead of against it.

They did some small experiments: Speaking up once in a meeting, even if it felt uncomfortable. Or stating their opinion before asking for others'. They began noticing when they were merging with the group instead of advocating for their perspective.

It's not dramatic. It's not a personality overhaul. It's just understanding: "Oh, this is my pattern. This is what my brain does when I feel threatened by potential conflict."

And once you see the pattern, you can make different choices.

This is what the Enneagram does. It shows you YOUR specific stuck pattern - not everyone's, yours.

Because we all get stuck differently.

Type 9s merge and accommodate. Type 2s over-focus on others' needs and neglect their own. Type 6s overthink and second-guess themselves into paralysis. Type 3s push themselves to exhaustion proving their worth.

Different types, different patterns. Same result: stuck.

And here's what I've learned after many years coaching and working with the Enneagram: Once you understand YOUR pattern, everything gets easier.

You stop thinking something's wrong with you.

You stop trying to change your whole personality.

You just work with your wiring instead of against it.

That's nimbleness. You're not forcing yourself to be someone you're not. You're just making small adjustments when you notice the pattern showing up.

Whether you're new to the Enneagram or already know your type but want to understand it more deeply, I'm now offering Enneagram Introduction sessions.

It's a 90-minute session where we'll:

• Discover your type, sub-type, and patterns
• Understand WHY you get stuck the way you do
• Learn to work WITH your brain, not against it
• Identify one small shift you can make

The session includes a professional Enneagram assessment and a comprehensive report you'll keep.

Investment is $297, which applies toward coaching if you decide to continue working together.

You can learn more here

Understanding your pattern doesn't fix everything. But it makes everything make sense.

And that's where change becomes possible.

Enjoy the exploration.